Fat Brat

May 28th
5:19 AM

11 notes

a message from sincealways

I once got wendys when I was starving. A few Jbc's no mayo, when I get home guess whats on them? So I am furious and not thinking rationally and I look up their number and what turned out to be an angry call quickly escalates into a legit bomb threat. They were arguing and saying mayo isnt a big deal and I disagreed I feel like its the worst thing in the world I say how about I come down there and blow your fucking wendys up and the lady starts going we got a bomb threat and i hung up jbc less

I can’t fucking stop laughing. I can’t.

I can’t breathe.

I can’t

I have officially lost it.

can’t

breathe

goodbye world

corpse

5:16 AM

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by fucking far the thirstiest I’ve ever been at 4 in the morning. Sorry guys.

4:45 AM

8 notes

Bags of chips are never more than half full when you buy them. Soda tastes better out of a can than a bottle. Do animals admire the sunrise? Do whales ever feel bloated? Did I remember to turn the oven off? Where in the hell do I lose all of my socks? Why do I have the WORST luck with fast food drive-thru’s? Why does the phrase ‘drive-thru’ annoy me so much? Why are people afraid of their bodies? Why the hell do people still eat lima beans (ew).

3:57 AM

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3:49 AM

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oh fuck yes, I haaaaaaated living there.

3:35 AM

4 notes

a message from greenschmoodle

I assume that you are one bad-ass mother fucker!

3:27 AM

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3:14 AM

88 notes

2:58 AM

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same

2:51 AM

6 notes

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sincealways:

if you’re ever lucky enough to enter my kitchen you will see I have a piece of priceless 1 of 1 art adorning my refrigerator. The medium is crayon specifically of the crayola variety shipped in from germany. These crayons were made with the ashes of jews and pieces of the berlin wall so this art is 100% kosher. I added a bit of my own flair by freehanding that sewer hole and the angry clouds. I also free handing the flames because he turtle inferno was heavy on the turtle but lacking in the inferno department. I also added the “feel the heat bitch” part because my brow was literally dripping with sweat when I completed this masterpiece